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It would be patronising to even offer to pay for it, unless you are very close to the person and the situation is pretty serious. I solicited relationship experts of all stripes to reveal the most harrowing fight they commonly hear couples have — that argument that ends the relationship, or at least damages it nearly beyond repair. She can take responsibility for trying to control him and preventing him from finding that James Bond movie he'd wanted to enjoy. Also the act of moving never made anyone happier than they were when they were not moving, so there's that.

And a little visualization goes a long way. Tensions are high; blood is boiling, and there's no better way to break the tension than with a good ol' fashioned wrestling match.

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I love to talk about love—even some of the darker parts of coupledom, such as arguments, fights, and problems. Ask yourself: Are you having the same fight over and over again? Your arguments might be more common than you think. Can you relate to this awesome video? The Science of Fighting According to marriage and family counselor Dr. John Gottman, a true expert in this field, 69 percent of marriage conflicts never are solved. That means we often are having the same fight over and over again. This is actually good news. If we have similarities or patterns to our fights it means a we are not alone and b we can study, predict and course-correct our arguments before they explode. Gottman has conducted more than 40 years of research with more than 3,000 married couples. Watch this video for more: Gridlocked Issue: A common topic that comes up for a couple that cannot be resolved and typically devolves into a nasty argument. The Top 5 Issues Couples Fight About: What do most couples fight about? Fighting better is about having discussions, not arguments. It is about respectfully hearing the other person when perpetual problems come up. We all want to fight less, but the point of this article is to deepen understanding, and that can mean discussing more. We sat down and thought about the problems and topics that have come up recently and looked for patterns. Did any of them fall into the top five above? Were there any common threads or underlying themes to our arguments? Try identifying the patterns underlying the arguments. Do this in non-judgmental terms. You already know your issues and where the other stands, so it is very important to keep small arguments compartmentalized and specific to the situation. This can help you focus on the issue and keep the discussion as just that—a discussion. Since you know you have fundamental differences on the larger argument, there is no reason to bring it into everyday discussions. Start with Agreement If a gridlocked issue comes up on a daily basis and you need to approach it, start with agreement. Gottman noticed that successful couples who have been together for a long time master gentleness. They present issues in a soft way by never starting with criticism. In fact, starting with agreement is the best way to avoid an argument and start a discussion. Find something you can agree upon and start there. Look Underneath the Argument This is the hardest one, but the most important. Sometimes there are underlying issues beneath the gridlocked issue. Are there value-based differences? Okay, now they are onto something! Yes, help around the house is great, but it all boils down to feeling underappreciated. If the husband were to make the wife feel more appreciated, perhaps thanking her for what already has been done, that might be even more beneficial than helping. Combining help and gratitude could be the ultimate healer in this fight. Acceptance Knowing your issues and where you stand can help prevent you from having the same argument over and over again. Agreeing to disagree and naming the issue can prevent arguments in the future. He loves the in-laws! But he wants more couple time. A possible compromise to recognize the underlying need for alone time could be to go on vacation a few days early before the in-laws arrive. You want your perpetual issues to be more like the crazy uncle who shows up unannounced and less like the hidden rabid dog in the closet. In other words, the more your issue is talked about, tolerated and discussed, the easier and less trap-filled it will be.

My parents go on reddit too, so I hope they see this and realise how stupid they're being. Since you know you have fundamental differences on the larger argument, there is no reason to bring it into everyday discussions. You might difference believing that your partner has your best interests at heart. The girl I like is pretty similar to me in terms of temperment, and we agree that most stupid fights happen over a lack of communication. And not only that, but it's actually full of medico advice. No two people are going to agree on everything, and fighting just means you've hit a point in your journey together that needs special attention and communication. However if we process it in the way that we've described above, we can let it go.